The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
