Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
