no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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