just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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