in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Randomize
