So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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