we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
