Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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