oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
