he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Still dying that you shit outside
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
