1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
did i walk over a car last night?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
