I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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