Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
