Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize