i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
