How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Well I just put wine in my tea
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
