I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
