My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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