I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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