Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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