I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
