I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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