The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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