I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
