Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
