He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
