just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
