Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
