He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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