How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
