she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
