I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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