New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize