there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
