How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
