So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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