and i looked up. we had an audience...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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