words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
