so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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