I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
