It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
