so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
