it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
