Having a random hookup so left but love u
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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