All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
