He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
