Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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