Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize