i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
