you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
