I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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