I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize