You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
