i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
