Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize