I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
