ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
