I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
