We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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