im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
